Consider job alternatives

Especially now, especially in the broadcast industry.

I've watched as friends have lost their jobs, family members have lost their retirement funds, and associates have had their salaries cut.

Scary times. As a wise woman told me years ago, "A smart girl always has a Plan B."

I USED to have a Plan B. But writing the Great American Novel is damn hard. Harder than you think. Don't judge me.

I need another Plan B, and I think I've come up with one.

A proper Plan B must be something outside my current realm of employment. As much as I love journalism, radio, and the magic that happens when you combine the two, Plan B has to be something totally different.

It hit me when I was in Hawaii. I could teach Yoga. In Japanese.

Stay with me now:

While I was in Hawaii, I needed to work out the kinks in my back and neck from the long flight. The concierge, however, said that the hotel didn't offer any group classes of any kind. Weird, right? I thought so.

So, I made my way down to the beach to do some Yoga on my own. The grassy knoll near the lagoon would be the perfect place for an hour of bendy-stretchy-ohm.

But the lawn was roped off. So I asked the groundskeeper, Neal, if I could please use a tiny corner of the area for about an hour while I got my chakra's aligned.

He gave me the up-and-down. He sorta sneered and said, "Keep a low profile." Then he turned on his heel and walked away.

Keep a low profile? A low profile? I'm doing Yoga, not sacrificing a goat! There won't be chanting nor incense. What did that mean? A low profile?

I started my poses, continued my workout, but I never found the peace I was looking for because I WAS KEEPING A LOW PROFILE AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY.

I'm like that. I let things gnaw at me. That's why I take Yoga. The irony was delicious, but this really bugged me.

After my low-profile Yoga session, I made my way to the spa and scheduled a massage. The therapist immediately picked up on my tension. "Have you been having a nice time since arriving in Hawaii?" he asked.

"Well, I WAS...." and then I told him. No group classes; Yoga on my own; keep a low profile, all of it.

He grinned a knowing smile. "I can explain that." He said.

Turns out, a lot of the tourists who stay on that part of Oahu are Japanese. They usually arrive before noon, but their rooms aren't ready until 2 or 3 pm. So they need something to do, and they tend to walk around the hotel campus grounds. (It is indeed a sprawling campus with shops, pools, restaurants, and a grassy knoll where you are, apparently, expected to keep a low profile.)

If, my massage therapist explained, these tourists had seen me doing Yoga, they might assume it was a class being taught by the hotel. They'd drop their things and join me. Spontaneously. So I could be in the middle of "downward-facing dog" and see a group of Japanese tourists following my every move.

The problem is, I don't know Japanese and they likely don't know English. That would lead to complaints to management about holding group classes without proper translators.

Thus, the hotel doesn't host group classes. And anyone who works out on their own should keep a low profile.

This sounded absurd and ridiculous, but it made perfect sense. Upon further investigation I found it had the added benefit of being true.

Back to my Plan B.

I will learn Japanese so I can one day move to paradise and teach Yoga classes for major hotel chains.

Namaste. And, um...supashi-bo.

Amy Morris is an Executive Editor and Anchor of the Daily Debrief. Editor Suzanne Kubota is teaching her that "don't touch my moustache" is the response to "thank you". You can reach Amy at AMorris@federalnewsradio.com

(Copyright 2009 by FederalNewsRadio.com. All Rights Reserved.)