Mike Causey

Nightmare Alley: AKA Your Office?

Is the pitter-patter of flip flops driving you crazy at the office? Do you find yourself wondering just how much spandex can hold back? If so that\'s because Se...

Federal News Network Staff

July 19, 2010 4:00 am

4 min read

The early, extended heat wave smothering much of the nation appears to have advanced the dreaded hour of reckoning in federal offices. A time when strong men weep and normally compassionated women are revolted by the humanity around them.

Government scientists and fashion-critics, who for obvious reasons asked not to be identified, believe the annual horror has already struck. Reports are in from IRS outposts in Texas, Kentucky and Maryland, from Social Security offices in New York and Virginia. There have been major outbreaks among feds with the Air Force, Interior, GSA and most other agencies here and Beyond the Beltway.

It’s a time of daylight nightmares. They can last for weeks and make sleep difficult. In some areas the day-terrors manifest themselves as an assault on the eyeballs and taste buds. The attacks can continue all summer. There is no known cure.

It is, as you guessed, the day the Rocky Horror Picture Show comes to your agency. Starring friends and coworkers whose mantra is let-it-all-hang-out. Or if not all, definitely too much!!!

In an effort to stay cool and comfortable some workers offend colleagues by wearing flip flops, wife-beater tops, really short shorts and spandex which fails to hide that which should be hidden.

Several years back a long-time fed said “it happens all over government”, especially in the summer. Except maybe places like the DEA, FBI and Secret Service where being a sharp-dresser is a given. Otherwise it is anything goes. And it seems to peak in mid to late August.

Except maybe this year, when it’s here.

The fed said his job requires him to visit other federal agencies and what he sees often isn’t pretty. And this is not a guy who lays out big bucks on clothes. But he does wear them.

He said he saw something, someone, a fellow fed, in Suitland, Md., a couple of years back. The thought of what he saw, now four years later, won’t go away. He’s promised to tell all, what he saw and outside which agency, “two years after I retire.”

We didn’t press the point.

But what about you? Do the fashion-police need to visit your place of work? Is the pitter-patter of flip flops driving you mad? Let us know what’s going on, or coming off as it were.

Better yet, send us a picture. The us being me (mcausey@federalnewsradio.com) or editor Suzanne Kubota (skubota@federalnewsradio.com) who at this writing is wearing a tasteful tie-dyed t-shirt from a road trip to the Crayola Factory. Plus some other stuff. While I look like a 5-year old boy who selects his own outfits.

But it’s not me (or us), it’s you!

Fess’ up. Tell all. We can handle the truth.

Estate Planning: A Woman’s Issue?

That’s the theme of today’s For Your Benefit show (10-11 a.m. EDT) here on your computer at federalnewsradio.com or AM 1500 in the DC area. Hosts Bob Leins (CPA) and benefits expert Tammy Flanagan will be joined by estate attorney Anne Sullivan. She’ll talk about wills, trusts, guardianships, and health care directives. So what about the “woman’s issue” angle? Listen and learn!

To reach me: mcausey@federalnewsradio.com

Nearly Useless Factoid
by Suzanne Kubota

The best selling Girl Scout cookies are:

Thin Mints (25% of total sales)
Samoas (Caramel deLites)(19% of total sales)
Tagalongs (Peanut Butter Patties) (13%)
Do-si-dos (Peanut Butter Sandwiches) (11%)
Trefoils (Shortbread) (9%)

ADDITIONAL PAY AND BENEFITS NEWS ON FEDERAL NEWS RADIO
Congressman touts the advantages of telework
Will telework soon become the norm at most federal agencies? We’ve been telling you about the fact that the Telework Improvements Act passed in the House. Rep. John Sarbanes (D-Md.) was one of the sponsors of the bill and explains how it would change the telework eligibility process in most federal agencies. Read more here.

Tips for avoiding financial trouble
Where do your finances stand halfway through 2010? Arthur Stein is a certified financial planner with SPC Financial in Rockville, Md. He says the summertime is a good time to think about where you are financially. Read more here.

ALSO ON FEDERAL NEWS RADIO
A round up of Cool Jobs in Government
Movie producers, dolphin trainers, intelligence agents on bicycles. Believe it or not, these are all federal jobs. During this past week, Federal News Radio brought you a Special Report: Cool Jobs in Government. We uncovered some of the most interesting and unorthodox ways feds spend their days. Read all about it here!

Dorobek Must Reads – July 16
Worried you’ll have no idea what people are talking about around the watercooler this morning? Each day, the DorobekInsider team collects a group of stories that we’re reading to stay in the know. On Friday, we look at the growing responsibility of the Federal Reserve. Read more here.