Is everybody happy? Is anybody happy?

Which would shock you the most? The discovery of Big Foot in Rock Creek Park, or a happy government worker? Senior Correspondent Mike Causey says it's a toss-up...

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The last time most major American newspapers literally stopped the presses was Nov. 22, 1963, when they got reports that President John F. Kennedy had been shot in Dallas.

It was midday on the East Coast (Dallas is on Central time) and there were confused reports that others — including Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson — had been hit too. At 1:48 p.m. EST, CBS broke into the popular soap opera “As The World Turns” so news anchor Walter Cronkite could announce that JFK had been seriously wounded. It was one of the few times that the wire services (United Press International and the Associated Press) put out bulletins labeled “FLASH”, which were generally reserved for the “gravest news,” like Pearl Harbor.

Newspapers don’t operate — or print — the way they did in 1963. Even if they did, there are so many events in our 24/7 news cycle that executives and editors would be hard-pressed to decide when, if ever, to give the stop-the-presses order. What would merit such a drastic move: Russia invading the Crimea? Nah! A birth, marriage or divorce among the Kardashian clan? Hardly. So what would it take in the form of world-stopping news to stop the presses?

How about the discovery of a federal civil servant who is happy in his or her job? An interview with a live career government employee who feels working conditions are good, job security is great, the 401k plan is to die for and the retirement package is swell. Someone who wouldn’t trade jobs with a friend or relative who just received the corporate version of a Dear John letter from the oil company-dot-com.

The only thing that would top the discovery of a happy civil servant, willing to go on record, would be a study showing that the majority of American taxpayers like the services the government provides them. Like maybe 74 percent of those surveyed think the the Postal Service does a dynamite job. Or appreciates that Congress (not the IRS) makes tax laws and that IRS workers do the best they can with what they’ve been given, and ordered to do.

When is the last time you saw, read or heard a report that said most people appreciate what the government does? Maybe, uh, never!

Year after year, good-government groups run satisfaction surveys. Year after year the results are the same. Feds (according to their numbers) are both unhappy and nervous-in-the-civil-service. And people, the public, taxpayers, are sour on government services. As recently as yesterday:

One of the top stories Thursday on Federal News Radio dealt with Uncle Sam’s poor public perception.

The story said “Public satisfaction with federal government services fell to another all-time low in 2015.” Guess what? It was lower last year than the year before when it was also lower than the year before that. So how low can it go? I guess the answer is we must wait until next year to find out how unhappy people are, both in and with the government, compared to this year before that.

It is also interesting that while survey after survey shows people are unhappy with Congress, we keep reelecting the same people to the House and Senate. And while people complain about the mail service in general, lots of us like the clerk in our post office. Or leave presents for their letter carrier. That people can hate the tax system but be grateful to the IRS employee who helped them out of a potential tax nightmare. Institutions vs. real people.

Maybe somebody should do a survey to see if public unhappiness with the government as an institution and a servant has anything to do with creating all those unhappy government workers. A new version of the chicken vs. egg puzzler.

Nearly Useless Factoid

By Michael O’Connell

Mickey Mouse’s nephews are named Mortimer “Morty” and Ferdinand “Ferdie” Fieldmouse.

Source: Wikipedia

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