Love at the office: Fed style

In the late 1960s (I am told by my grandparents) there was a big hit song whose lyrics said, “I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.”

It was a huge hit in the U.S., Canada and Great Britain. Various groups and people — from the Spiral Staircase to Diana Ross and Bruno Mars — recorded it. A great spirit-of-the-60s song. Check out the original version on YouTube. Now, fast forward to much more uptight, politically correct today. Or better yet, tonight:

After a hard day at the office, you come home and your significant other says you need to talk! OMG, right?

But it’s not that kind of we-need-to-talk talk. What he or she says is that she likes/loves/respects/admires you more this year, 2016, than last year. He/she feels “more engaged.” Love is in the air, correct? Tonight is the night. Things are looking up.

Or are they?

After completing your mental victory lap to celebrate your new, improved relationship, reality rears its sometimes ugly head. You realize that things weren’t so hot between you two in 2015, even though it was slightly better than the year before — 2014 — your relationship has been on a downward slope for a long, long time.

So while the 2016 improvement is an improvement, on the scale of things it doesn’t, maybe, necessarily, say much. Like Uncle Sam’s employee attitude surveys. Each year the government — via the Office of Personnel Management — takes the temperature of the federal workforce with its Viewpoint Survey.

For a long time, this and various other employee attitude surveys have shown that folks in some agencies are not happy with their working life while those in a few feel challenged, properly recognized and believe they are well led. The problem is folks in those happy places — the Marine Mammal Commission, OSHA and the Overseas Private Investment Corporation don’t represent much of the federal workforce. The happy places tend to be small places with distinct, interesting missions. But they are not typical of the federal government population as a whole.

On the downside, places where workers are the least content are big places, with lots and lots of workers. Homeland Security , despite its critical mission and many proud components, is not known for having a high percentage of happy campers. Nor is the Interior Department, Department of Veterans Affairs or the Small Business Administration or the Broadcasting Board of Governors. Homeland Security, the VA and Interior Department are huge places. On any given day, the SBA probably has more people out with mumps than the Marine Mammal Commission has people.

So here’s a question. Are things getting better, or worse, at the office? Have you ever been asked to take an attitude survey? And if so, did you answer truthfully or tell them what you knew they wanted to hear?

Nearly Useless Factoid

By Jory Heckman

The world’s heaviest ball of twine was constructed by James Frank Kotera of Lake Nebagamon, Wisconsin, and weighs 21,280 lbs. The world’s largest ball of twine, however, remains a point of contention between Darwin, Minnesota and Cawker City, Kansas.

Source: Atlas Obscura

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